Imposter Syndrome

It goes without saying… the last year and a half has been pretty terrible. Looking back I don’t know how I did it. It genuinely feels like a bad dream with all the ups and downs and twists and turns. 

Over that time - there was no harder moment than when I discovered someone I had let into my company and put trust in, was trying to take me down. 

Yep, this person wanted to destroy me and everything I'd built  and didn’t care who they hurt in the process. They were actively trying to make people loose their jobs while gaslighting the fuck out of everyone around them. 

This person was only in my company for a relatively short period, but the damage they caused - it took months for myself and my team to understand what had happened just so we could begin to recover emotionally and mentally. All while trying to make sure we survive during a pandemic when food businesses are closing down everywhere.

I look at every moment as a learning experience, but this was a lesson I never thought I’d have to learn. Not just that someone I trusted could be so malicious, but coming to terms with my Imposter Syndrome.

Since creating this company when people would ask how I started it, I would always say, “it was an accident.“ You would also often hear from me, “I don’t know what I’m doing.” And I subconsciously lived by those words. But both couldn’t be further from the truth and that devastating time, if anything really forced me to come to terms with that.

I built this company with no help, no guidance and no support. Now on the other side, I’ve discovered how insecure that had made me. I realized b/c I've always felt so alone all years, my Imposter Syndrome wasn’t allowing me to trust or fully believe in myself - which led to allowing a sick person into my world.

Over the last 6 months, I’ve put all of my energy into rebuilding my team and doing so, has helped me heal and accept that I’m really fucking good at what I do. That I am a strong Leader, a strong Chef and a strong CEO who is in control and leading my team to success. 

I hope this experience I had is nothing you ever go through. But if you do, know that you are smart, capable and you will get through it.

xox, Mandy